Puppies are cute. They are cuddly and clumsy. Their eyes and paws are too big, and their skin looks like oversized pajamas. We want them to be “free,” enjoy their lives, have fun, and be our best friends. We love them, and we are desperate for them to love us. That desperation affects our behavior towards our puppies. We do not want to make them feel sad, so we refrain from enforcing our boundaries and expectations. Setting boundaries and reinforcing expectations require discipline and the ability to say no.
Puppies are smart and always learning. They are wired for survival, so they seek out successful strategies that benefit them and increase their control over the environment and comfort level. They even evolved to share many juvenile characteristics as adults due to neoteny—the retention of puppy-like physical and behavioral traits into adulthood. These factors benefit them because those traits make it easier for them to manipulate us. They know you love them and they notice that you have not established boundaries for their behavior. They practice governing their own behavior without understanding our system of manners or what is safe for them and those around them.
All of that affects how we raise our dogs and how we live with them as they mature. I have one example to clarify: We adopt a cute puppy. We put the puppy in the crate on the first night so the pup would be comfortable in it. The puppy is used to being with their family at night, and this is their first night alone. When a puppy is alone, their instincts compel them to call for their family members. The puppy starts whining, crying, and barking. We hear these noises and think that our puppy is miserable. Instead of ignoring the noise and going to sleep, we feel guilty and sad. Their crying becomes an emotional event for us. To resolve those bad feelings and get some sleep, we let the puppy out of the crate and let them sleep in bed with us.
The next day, we wake up excited to do all the things with our pup. We walk, feed, water, and play with them. When we are tired of interacting and/or need to attend to other responsibilities, we put the pup in the crate. The pup is alone. When a puppy is alone, their instincts compel them to call for their family members. So, they whine, cry, and bark. We hear them barking because of the camera we set up. We think they are miserable; we feel guilty and sad, and we rush in, let them out of the crate, and play with them or let them do whatever they want. Later in the day, we put the puppy back in the crate while we did some chores around the house. Once again, the pattern repeats.
As I said before, puppies are smart; they are always learning and developing successful strategies to manipulate us for their own benefit and comfort. What has your pup learned in less than 24 hours? When I am alone, I cry, and the human will come to me, give me more access, and entertain me. The pup does not learn to be alone or that being alone is a necessary part of life, and that is one way we can create separation anxiety in our dogs.
The crate is one example, but dogs learn this same lesson through many experiences. They form associations and habits based on what they experience.
Do not worry. Dogs can have new experiences and learn new habits. If you want to learn how, contact us; we can help. Thank you for reading, and Enjoy Your Dog!!!